it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
