i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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