he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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