last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
