so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
