i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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