i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
