i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
