i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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