If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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