I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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