it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
