It's Friday. Sex?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
