Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
