he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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