you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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