Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
