so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
