Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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