the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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