yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Drake has all the answers
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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