You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize