Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
