I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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