There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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