I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
