Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
