It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
