Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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