I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
