that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
