oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
im holly from the hills drunk
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
