whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
