I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
