well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
