Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have post one night stand depression
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