Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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