Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
