i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
