I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
