Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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