the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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