do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
