The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize