Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
