Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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