he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
