There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
