We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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