that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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