dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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