what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
