So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize