god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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