I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize